A very, very quiet post...

...because my hubby is sleeping and I'm trying to type very quietly so as to avoid the potential wrath that comes with waking someone who has to be up in about 5 hours. Do you know how hard it is to type without making any noise? Apparently SOME of us think 12:20 a.m. is a time for sleep, while OTHERS of us are trying to stay up to watch the rerun of the latest Real Housewives of O.C. at 1:00. (For those of you who watch t.v. to learn things or to be uplifted, don't ever watch this show. It's a very classy, or should I say "klassy", program featuring wealthy middle-aged OC housewives. To summarize, let's just say that you would not feel inappropriate eating Cheez Whiz out of the jar and drinking Mello Yello while watching. Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

So...I've been very bad at posting lately, and extremely bad at posting pictures. Luckily, my hilarious and witty pictureless posts satisfy everyone. No? Fair enough, I will try to get some pictures up this weekend. I have accumulated quite a few, although since Gabe is becoming quick enough and smart enough to notice when the camera comes out, he escapes the pictures more often than not. So, I have a lot of slower, less experienced Audrey, and few of Gabe. This was definitely not intentional.

Now that I have a half-hour to kill, I will do a little updating. Audrey is walking all over the place, but it comes in little spurts. She will be crawling, then suddenly walk across the room. Or she will walk a few steps, fall, walk a few steps, fall, and then speed walk for a minute or so. And she can go from sitting to standing without pulling up on anything - her legs will be incredibly toned within a month if she continues to do squats at her current pace. The best part about her walking is the new opportunities it brings for displays of the temper of Audrey "McEnroe" Mahan. It is really hilarious when she is walking and carrying something long enough for her to step on (tonight, for example, it was a dish towel). She will stop and try to pull on it really hard without realizing that it is her own foot holding it down. Her sweet little face then gets really red and furious and she lets out her special scream. Then, glass shatters everywhere within a 10-mile radius. Is it wrong to think that baby rage is really funny? There will definitely be no tennis rackets for her.

She is also now a REPEAT OFFENDER. Yes, recidivism reared its ugly head and caused Audrey to AGAIN dial 911. Granted, I gave her the phone - she is dangerously wiggly during diaper changes - but I had first punched in a few harmless numbers so that she couldn't call out. So, either she turned the phone off and then dialed 911, or 911 will dial out even after other numbers have been punched in first. I felt a little foolish trying to explain this AGAIN to the dispatcher who called 1 minute later. Knowing a policeman was coming (per our usual arrangement when our kids call 911), I tried to pick up areas of the house that would be visible out of paranoia. However, I didn't think about Gabe who was taking a bath. While answering the door for the policeman, I suddenly became very aware that Gabe was screaming "Mommy the crocodile is biting my hand off!" Of course, this is not unusual in our house because (1) it was a Captain Hook reference, (2) Gabe was playing with his pirates and crocodile in the tub, and (3) Gabe always likes to scream in enclosed spaces to hear it echo. If the policeman heard, he didn't say anything. Luckily, he was very nice and said it happens all the time.

Gabe is really enjoying preschool, and has had classmates' birthday parties and Valentine's party for the past few weeks. I asked him if they had gotten to read his book that he brought, and he said "Mom, we just don't have time to read." It is school, after all. DOH! They mailed each other Valentine's Day cards, and he thought it was really cool to get mail from one of his friends. (I think they are friends at least. It is really hard to tell Gabe's acquaintances from his friends from his arch enemies.) He also got to go to a McDonald's birthday party, which I enjoyed as well. Gabe, some boys from school, and one poor little girl who was with all the boys, went straight to the playground and we didn't see them for 20 minutes. We definitely heard them, though, as they were playing Cops and Criminals and kept yelling out things like "Get Gabe, he's escaping", or "Keep Adam in prison, he's a bad guy". I had a fun time trying to explain to Gabe in the car afterwards what a criminal is, and why a cop would be chasing one.

Well, it's almost the magic hour. Bye!